Supporting young widows with moving into the next stage of their life
The majority of marriages happen with the expectation that you'll hopefully grow old together, but some women are widowed at a young age. This can leave you both with feelings of loss for your spouse and also the plans and dreams that you had for your life together. There may also be young children who have lost their father figure and their plans and dreams for what they were going to do with daddy. Its important to grieve and not shut down (and trap in) your sorrow but this doesn't need to stop you from having a mindset of wanting joy in this next stage of life. You don't have to do this alone as there are people out there who will be happy to give you company and give you advice.
Websites Offering Support:
Widowed Young Support – Care for the Family
Widowed in Need
is a small charity created by a group of widowed people with the aim of supporting widows and widowers in financial distress.
WAY – Widowed and Young
is a national UK charity offering a peer-to-peer support network for young widowed men and women aged 50 and under.
Turn2us
includes information, if you are recently bereaved, on how to find out if there are benefits, grants or other financial support available to you. In most cases, the help from bereavement benefits assumes you lost your partner within the last 12 months.
Jolly Dollies
is a social network for widows.
Good Grief Trust
exists to help all those suffering grief in the UK. They aim to find the bereaved, acknowledge their grief and provide reassurance, a virtual hand of friendship and ongoing support. There is a map feature to help you find local support groups and charities as well as a wealth of advice.
They also include a Well-Being page, where you will find healing stories and tips on books and poetry, aimed to support you, and help you find alternative ways of coping with your grief. When you go through a life altering event, remembering to look after your self-care and well-being can fall to the wayside. It is through creating the space to nurture & soothe yourself that the courage and resilience that resides within us can flourish and grow.
At a Loss
helps you find appropriate and local bereavement support via their signposting website.
Books on this subject:
Widow To Widow: Thoughtful, Practical Ideas For Rebuilding Your Life
In this remarkably useful guide, widow, author, and therapist Genevieve Davis Ginsburg offers fellow widows-as well as their family and friends-sage advice for coping with the loss of a husband. From learning to travel and eat alone to creating new routines to surviving the holidays and anniversaries that reopen emotional wounds, Widow to Widow walks readers through the challenges of widowhood and encourages them on their path to building a new life.
What Doesn’t Kill Us: A guide to overcoming adversity and moving forward
People confronted by tragedy, horror and adversity emerge as wiser, more mature and more fulfilled people. Research shows that this number is somewhere between 30-90% of people. Relationships become stronger. Perspectives on life change. Inner strengths are found. Even if sadness persists, trauma and tragedy can make us stronger.
Stephen Joseph has a long history of experience working with survivors of trauma and sufferers of posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Stephen challenges the concept that trauma and its aftermath – often labeled as PTSD – devastate and destroy the lives. His studies have shown that a wide range of traumatic events – from separation, bereavement, illness and assault to natural disasters, accidents and terrorism – can act as catalysts for changing one’s perspective, positive change, strengthening relationships and revealing inner strengths.
This book looks at a six step process that we can all use to manage our emotions and navigate adversity to find new meaning, purpose and direction in our lives.
On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages
One of the most important psychological studies of the late twentieth century,OnDeath and Dyinggrew out of Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’s famous interdisciplinary seminar on death, life and transition. In this remarkable book, Dr. Kubler-Ross first explores the now-famous stages of death: denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Through sample interviews and conversations, she gives the reader a better understanding of how imminent death affects the patient, the professionals who serve that patient, and the patient’s family, bringing hope to all who are involved. This new edition will include an introduction by Dr. Ira Byock, a prominent palliative care physican and the author of Dying Well.
Mars and Venus: Starting Over
Many reasons relationships end. Millions of people are widowed, breakup with their long-term partner or get divorced every year. There is hope. The healing period after such a loss can be difficult, but getting over the grief, anger and pain of a breakup can be much easier with expert help. Relationship expert, John Gray, offers empowering advice on how to overcome loss and gain the confidence to meet new people and engage in new relationships.
It’s Ok That You’re Not Ok: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn’t Understand
In 2009, on a beautiful sunny day, Megan Devine witnessed the accidental drowning of her beloved partner Matt. “All my professional experience as a therapist felt meaningless,” she writes. “Grief literature is loaded with well-intended advice that can actually worsen and extend someone’s pain. We just don’t know how to handle loss in our culture.” Megan has dedicated herself to helping people find a new way to deal with loss that honors our experience without trying to “solve” grief.
With It’s OK That You’re Not OK, Megan reveals a path for navigating grief and loss not by trying to escape it, but by learning to live inside of it with more grace and strength. Through stories, research, life tips, and mindfulness-based practices, she offers a unique guide through an experience we all must face. Here she debunks the culturally prescribed goal of returning to a normal, “happy” life, replacing it with the skills and tools to help us experience and witness the pain of loss in ourselves and others–so we may meet our grief knowing it to be a natural step in the greater journey of love.
If There’s Anything I Can Do…: How to Help Someone Who Has Been Bereaved
Based on dozens of interviews with people who have lost their partner, this book tells what helped them and what upset them. For everyone who is close to someone who has lost a partner, this book advises on how to give the best possible support. It includes tips and guidance on what to say and what to do, what not to say and do, to help your friend cope a little better with their grief.
Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief Paperback
David Kessler – the world’s foremost expert on grief and the coauthor with Elisabeth Kübler-Ross of the iconic On Grief and Grieving – journeys beyond the classic five stages to discover a sixth stage: meaning.
David has spent decades teaching about end of life, trauma and grief. And yet his life was upended by the sudden death of his twenty-one-year-old son. How does the grief expert handle such a devastating loss?
In Finding Meaning, Kessler shares his hard-earned wisdom and offers a roadmap to remembering those who have died with more love than pain, how to move forward in a way that honours our loved ones and ultimately transform grief into a more peaceful and hopeful experience.
An inspiring must-read for anyone struggling to figure out how to live after loss.
Death (of your partner)… And How To Survive It
A unique, practical and uplifting guide to coming to terms with the death of your partner
Kate was widowed at the age of 33. She felt that her life had lost its purpose and she wanted it to end. But she got through it – and so can everyone. Kate draws on her own experience of bereavement to offer frank advice on coping with every aspect of the grieving process. Including:
– coping with the initial shock
– telling your children
– organising the funeral
– shopping and cooking
– getting back into dating
