Empowering women to know that they can be a wonderful stepmum
Step parenting can be stepping into a minefield of emotions - your partner worrying about how you and the kids are going to be around each other, the kids' mother's reaction and behaviour towards you, the kids dealing with the breakup of their parents and the addition of a stepmother etc. And then you have to deal with being a parent, but not being the biological parent which has all sorts of impacts. For example there may be difference in acceptable behaviours and ruls between the child's two homes and then how you deal with that as a step aprents can be different than if you are the biological parent. There can be a difference in how much love, affection, respect and communication the kids give to their biological paretns than you as the step parent. Whether your step mum role is easy or hard, you have a little person looking up to you as one of their adult role models, so being the best paretns you can be is important. I've often heard adults say that it wasn't until adulthood that they realised all that their step parent had done for them. Be the best influence you can be on them...and make the most of the suport and resouces out there when you need them.
Websites Offering Support:
Hey Sigmund – Where the Science of Psychology Meets the Art of Being
Being a Stepparent: What You Need to Know to Make It Work is just one of the many articles here related to step-parenting and parenting skills.
Happy Steps
has been designed to gather together a whole range of services to help families and individuals strengthen their stepfamilies and to provide training and tools for organisations and family professionals.
Books on this subject:
The Step-Parents’ Parachute: The Four Cornerstones of Good Step-parenting
will endow the reader with a body of instantly accumulated knowledge. Neatly organised, easy to use, practical and positive, this inspirational book will offer a path through a subject riven with negative assumptions and enable the transformation of the step-family into a happy, rewarding and stable family home.
The Single Girl’s Guide to Marrying a Man, His Kids, and His Ex-Wife: Becoming a Stepmother with Humor and Grace
A funny, honest, and empathetic resource for the novice stepmother, which includes advice on The kids Adjusting to suspicion, resentment, and biological-parent loyalties; The ex-wife Living calmly alongside her, whether she’s a psycho or the perfect mother; The holidays Accommodating old family traditions and developing new ones; The sex Keeping love alive through the kids’ bed-wetting and nightmares. Plus an invaluable list of resources, websites, publications, and organizations specifically for the new stepmother.
How to be a Happy Stepmum
provides the first step in this support by guiding stepmothers through the pitfalls of adapting to stepfamily life; firstly by identifying what type of stepmother they are and then by addressing each of the recognised factors related to becoming a successful and happy stepmother.
Every Step Counts: Building a Healthy Stepfamily
It is estimated that, by 2010, half of all families will be step-families. This is a practical guide for all those living, or preparing to live, in a step-family. Drawing on real-life examples, the authors – both step-parents themselves – help parents to explore key issues and to find the way forward that is best for them. The questions addressed include: Will I make a good step-parent? What if we disagree over parenting styles? My past experiences of family life aren’t good. Can I really make it work this time round? What about money issues? And where are we going to live? How will the other children feel if we have a new baby?
Videos on this subject:
Becoming a Step Mum – Part 1
Nadia Sawalha and husband, Mark Adderley dig deep into the topic of blended families! From Nadia’s feelings about becoming a Step-Mum to Mark’s thoughts about being a single father with two children, this first part takes us right back to the beginning, discussing the impact their own childhoods may have had and the different feelings and thoughts they had about the prospect of coming together as a whole new reconstituted family!
