Supporting women in moving forward after the loss of a child
The loss of your child can often feel beyond our understanding, feel beyond our ability to move forward, feel like part of you is permanently missing. You might find you experience a range of physical and emotional symptoms as you come to terms with your loss. We have listed some websites that can help at the point of loss and how to move forward.
Websites Offering Support:
The Compassionate Friends
offers support after the death of a child of any age.
Saying Goodbye
provides comprehensive information, advice, support and much more to anyone who has suffered the loss of a baby, at any stage of pregnancy, at birth or in infancy. Know that you are not alone. Unfortunately hundreds of people across the UK go through baby loss each day, and for each person, they are there to help, to explain, to try and make sense of what for many can be a deeply traumatic time, either through the information on the site or by contacting the team for further support if you or a loved one needs it.
Good Grief Trust
exists to help all those suffering grief in the UK. They aim to find the bereaved, acknowledge their grief and provide reassurance, a virtual hand of friendship and ongoing support. There is a map feature to help you find local support groups and charities as well as a wealth of advice.
They also include a Well-Being page, where you will find healing stories and tips on books and poetry, aimed to support you, and help you find alternative ways of coping with your grief. When you go through a life altering event, remembering to look after your self-care and well-being can fall to the wayside. It is through creating the space to nurture & soothe yourself that the courage and resilience that resides within us can flourish and grow.
Child Death Helpline
provides support not only at times of crisis but also for the on-going needs of callers over their lifetime.
Anyone can call who has been affected by the death of a child, from pre-birth to adult, under any circumstances, however recently or long ago. Because for a parent their son or daughter will always be their child, they also hear from, and support, parents whose 30, 40, 50 year old has died. Most calls are from parents, but they do hear from many other family members too.
Child Bereavement UK
supports families and educates professionals when a baby or child dies or is dying, or when a child is facing bereavement.
At a Loss
helps you find appropriate and local bereavement support via their signposting website.
Books on this subject:
Worst Loss: How Families Heal from the Death of a Child
The death of a child is a loss like no other. Parents experience the symptoms of grief more intensely and for far longer than with any other loss. For the dead child’s siblings, their family is never the same again. How do families survive this worst loss? What helps people heal? What have families and clinicians learned that will help others through their loss and enable them to rebuild their lives.
What Doesn’t Kill Us: A guide to overcoming adversity and moving forward
People confronted by tragedy, horror and adversity emerge as wiser, more mature and more fulfilled people. Research shows that this number is somewhere between 30-90% of people. Relationships become stronger. Perspectives on life change. Inner strengths are found. Even if sadness persists, trauma and tragedy can make us stronger.
Stephen Joseph has a long history of experience working with survivors of trauma and sufferers of posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Stephen challenges the concept that trauma and its aftermath – often labeled as PTSD – devastate and destroy the lives. His studies have shown that a wide range of traumatic events – from separation, bereavement, illness and assault to natural disasters, accidents and terrorism – can act as catalysts for changing one’s perspective, positive change, strengthening relationships and revealing inner strengths.
This book looks at a six step process that we can all use to manage our emotions and navigate adversity to find new meaning, purpose and direction in our lives.
See You Soon
explores, from a personal perspective, issues around bereavement, drugs in the family, and hope.
On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages
One of the most important psychological studies of the late twentieth century,OnDeath and Dyinggrew out of Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’s famous interdisciplinary seminar on death, life and transition. In this remarkable book, Dr. Kubler-Ross first explores the now-famous stages of death: denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Through sample interviews and conversations, she gives the reader a better understanding of how imminent death affects the patient, the professionals who serve that patient, and the patient’s family, bringing hope to all who are involved. This new edition will include an introduction by Dr. Ira Byock, a prominent palliative care physican and the author of Dying Well.
It’s Ok That You’re Not Ok: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn’t Understand
In 2009, on a beautiful sunny day, Megan Devine witnessed the accidental drowning of her beloved partner Matt. “All my professional experience as a therapist felt meaningless,” she writes. “Grief literature is loaded with well-intended advice that can actually worsen and extend someone’s pain. We just don’t know how to handle loss in our culture.” Megan has dedicated herself to helping people find a new way to deal with loss that honors our experience without trying to “solve” grief.
With It’s OK That You’re Not OK, Megan reveals a path for navigating grief and loss not by trying to escape it, but by learning to live inside of it with more grace and strength. Through stories, research, life tips, and mindfulness-based practices, she offers a unique guide through an experience we all must face. Here she debunks the culturally prescribed goal of returning to a normal, “happy” life, replacing it with the skills and tools to help us experience and witness the pain of loss in ourselves and others–so we may meet our grief knowing it to be a natural step in the greater journey of love.
Beyond Tears: Living After Losing a Child
The death of a child is an unimaginable loss that no parent ever expects to face. In “Beyond Tears”, nine mothers share their individual stories of how to survive in the darkest hour. They candidly share with other bereaved parents what to expect in the first year and long beyond: harmonious relationships can become strained; there is a new definition of what one considers ‘normal’; the question ‘how many children do you have?’ can be devastating; mothers and fathers mourn and cope differently; surviving siblings grieve and suffer as well; there simply is no answer to the question ‘why?’ The mothers of “Beyond Tears” offer reassurance that the clouds of grief do lessen with time and that grieving parents will find a way to live, and even laugh again.
Ask Me His Name (Baby Loss)
Learning to live and laugh again after the loss of my baby
What do you do when the unthinkable happens?
A moving account of Elle’s pregnancy, Teddy’s life, and what happens when a mother leaves hospital with empty arms. In the UK, 1 in 4 pregnancies end in loss of the baby. However, conversations are rare about this frequent experience of heartbreak. In this honest and hopeful exploration of mothering, Elle shows us how she navigated a parenthood no one had prepared her for.
* A portion of the proceeds from the sale of this book will be donated to Tommy’s charity. Reg. (1060508)
A Song for Jenny: A Mother’s Story
On 7 July 2005, Julie Nicholson’s life was changed forever. Her daughter, Jenny, was killed on her way to work in the London bombings. Julie tells her story of love, tragedy and heartache for the first time. Now a major BBC film starring Emily Watson.
Videos on this subject:
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